Look at Brain laugh in the face of danger. That apron is hiding his massive balls
(Source: arthurtimothyread)
Via Baby, I'll Be Your Frankenstein
Once this kid wearing a shirt that said LIFE came into my class in the middle of biology and just stood there until the teacher noticed her then she handed the teacher a lemon and left without saying a word LIfE GavE hER A FUCkiNG LEMoN
this makes me uncomfortable.
no
jesus christ its like when your drawings look perfectly fine and then you mirror them
nO,
I never realized before how much the US looks like a whale??
Yep
(Source: jackle-app)
My dog looks like a fuzzy penis. That is all, bye.
i sat here laughing for like ten minutes
I almost had a heart attack last night while my husband and I were lying in bed reading and his entire body starts shaking. I’m all ARE YOU OK ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE ARE YOU CRYING WHATS HAPPENING
and then i realize he’s just laughing hysterically- so hard that he CANT MAKE NOISE
And I go: Are you thinking about that damn penis dog again?
him: *silent nodding while he claps like a retarded seal*
(Source: pessi-misticc)
Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601”
When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!”
And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard
you tip them right over the edge of a bridge
you fucking didn’t
oh my god.
(Source: villainyandgoodcheekbones)
which american president was least guilty
lincoln
he was in a cent
I told this joke at Mouth Rushmore and the park ranger hit me
in first period a girl got dress coded for wearing a tank top with a jacket over it and this scrawny little boy stood up and yelled “OH MY GOD SHE HAS SKIN THE SKIN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME HER SHOULDERS ARE BEAUTIFUL THIS IS TOO MUCH” and the teacher got so annoyed with him that she didn’t get to dress coding her
Virtual supermarkets are popping up in subway stations in South Korea, where commuters can virtually shop for items while waiting for the train to come. Customers simply scan an item’s QR code using the free “Homeplus” app and can have it delivered to their doorstep before they even get home. Ranked as the 2nd most hard-working country in the world to Japan, South Korea is rewarding its workers with this timesaving gem.
Wow! I kinda love this idea.
Via Baby, I'll Be Your Frankenstein
YOU NIQQAS WANNA LEARN ELVISH?! HERE YA GO!
this makes me think about the post about the two girls who didn’t want to get caught sendes notes in class so they learned elvish
Via Baby, I'll Be Your Frankenstein
Tentacle arm? Yes, please.
awesome looking leap for prosthetics and also probably best masturbation tool ever
Via Baby, I'll Be Your Frankenstein
Just take one minute to read this, it’s worth it.
“Look, I didn’t want to be a sausage”
“Don’t I get a sausage for good luck? It’s kind of a tradition right?”
“I don’t want you to be roman. I want you to be sausage.”
“Sausages just aren’t real to me until I’m staring one in the face.”
“The real world is where the sausages are.”
“You sausage when you sleep”
“You’re not getting away from me. Sausage again.”
“Wait, is your name Sausage?”
“There is always a sausage for those clever enough to find it.”
“I AM THE SAUSAGE KING.”
or this one
“Humor was a good way to hide the sausage”
(Source: percydemigod-s)
